I dreamed of a dance; unknown, unsettling. It was dark and neither of us knew the steps, yet out bodies spun deliriously.

The rhythm was new and it was ancient; it was our own and it belonged to the gods.

When the music stopped my head rested on your chest, my body re-building itself to the new rhythm. My limbs fell and grew back, my blood changed direction.

I was liberated, I was yours..

Miss you, S…


The end.

B: ‘We needed the closure; even after all these years…’

J: ‘Yes, perhaps we did.’

B: ‘Hey, J. You weren’t my mistress. You were the love of my life.’

J: ‘None of us has any idea what that even means. But I like the drama.’

B: ‘I hope you’ll find yours someday. You deserve to be happy.’

J: ‘Alright, too much drama. Don’t miss your flight.’

B: ‘Bye, J.’

J: ‘Bye, B.’


Who cheats

B: ‘What did you tell him?’

J: ‘I don’t tell him anything, we’re open.’

B: ‘How modern!’

J: ‘Right?’

B: ‘Guilt free, then, huh?’

J: ‘I’m guilty of hypocrisy; you’re the one who cheats…’

B: ‘Brutal!’

J: ‘Indeed..’


The inevitable..

B: I knew you’d come..’

He’s in the balcony. Leaning over the rails, he talks without looking in my direction. There are two glasses on the table and my favorite Shiraz. I smile. He knew I would come.

I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the painting on the wall; two dancers, blue tones. He looks at me.

B: ‘Let’s go get dinner.. I like the shoes.’

J: ‘I know.’

It feels normal and strange. Dinner, wine, endless conversation; music and bars, long walks. We laugh and make fun of each other. He kisses my hands and stares at my rings; his eyes grow lost.

It’s early morning when when we get back to the hotel. Room 384; he leans against the door, gazing at me as I take off my coat.

B: ‘You were right, this is torture..’


F**k you, B!

B: ‘I’m leaving tomorrow…’

J: ‘Have a nice flight.’

B: ‘We might never see each other again. I want a few hours with you…’

J: ‘We’ll never see each other again, so what’s the point?’

B: ‘You still love me, I can tell.’

J: ‘I do love you, but not the way you want me to.’

B: ‘Ha! Did you just put me in the friend-zone?’

J: ‘No, B. You’re not my friend. I was your mistress and you were my first man. I’m sure there’ll be other mistresses, but you’ll always be my first man.’

B: ‘Let’s talk about that over a glass of wine.’

J: ‘What else is there to talk about?’

B: ‘Room 384, J. See you tonight.’



J: ‘You’ve aged well…’

B: ‘You haven’t aged at all. Why did you shave your head?’

J: ‘No reason. Do you like it?’

B: ‘It’s you.’

J: ‘You shouldn’t have come. You know I would have driven to London if I wanted to see you.’

B: ‘You’re here, aren’t you? Sit down, what are you drinking?’

J: ‘I can’t stay..’

B: ‘Why did you come, then?’

J: ‘I couldn’t help myself.’

B: ‘Sit down, J.’

I did. Ha! Of course I did. We got our coffees and sat in silence for a long time, staring. The tension was strange, tangible; neither of us knew what to say.

B: ‘God, you are beautiful.’

I smiled, a sorrowful smile. He saw it and his eyes did that thing. That puppy thing they used to do whenever I was upset.

J: ‘Why did you come here, B?’

B: ‘I don’t even know.. A few weeks ago I found that clip you made for my birthday just before we.. just before I left. It felt strange, I kept playing it over and over. God, J, the way you used to look at me, I never noticed. You loved me..’

J: ‘Yes.’

B: ‘Why did you really stop seeing me?’

J: …

B: ‘I keep thinking about our first night together… your first time. I can picture it perfectly; your dress, the way your arms moved, the certainty in your eyes. You were incredible; you’ve always been.. and I’m an idiot..’

J: ‘I have to go, B.’

B: ‘Can I see you again? Will you come to London, just for a couple of days?’

J: ‘I don’t know, maybe..’